Episode 118: Understanding Your Own Personal Style, with Audrey (part I)

Welcome to Clotheshorse, the podcast that is both gamine and romantic. Don’t worry you’ll understand what I mean by the end of this episode…

I’m your host, Amanda. And this is episode 118. Today’s guest is Audrey, the progressive, sustainable, and inclusive stylist behind Flourish Styling and secondhand clothing store Found by Flourish. This is going to be part one of our conversation, and we’re going to talk about why we overconsume clothing and how we can get that back in check by knowing ourselves better. She’s also going to break down the style archetypes and how we can use that information to feel more confident and comfortable with our wardrobe choices.

Before we get into that, I’m going to address something I receive so many questions about (and no it’s not vegan leather)…should we blame resellers and rising popularity of secondhand shopping for increased prices in thrift stores…and secondly, can we also blame resellers for taking everything “good” at the store?

But first…we’re going to listen to an audio essay from Laura of Revive Athletics about how she quit her job and started her own small business. Let’s give it a listen…

There are two topics that I receive questions about most often via DMs and emails, and they are both connected: Are thrift stores raising prices because thrifting has become more popular (ie, the gentrification of thrifting)? And is it ethical to resell secondhand clothing (aka “are resellers scooping up all of the good stuff and taking clothes away from ‘poor’ people”)?

Let’s review the facts that we discuss a lot around here…

On average, Americans buy about 70 new articles of clothing each year.

60% of new clothing ends up in the landfill or incinerator within the same year it was made. That’s 60 billion garments each year.

We toss 85% of our unwanted clothing in the trash. We donate the remaining 15% to charities, thrift stores, or “textile recycling” bins.

If we use those 70 new garments as a way of visualizing what’s happening to our clothing: 60 will end up in the landfill, 10 will be donated.

Only 10% of those garments (1 garment) will be purchased from the thrift store, whether it’s by a reseller OR a customer buying it for themselves. And don’t even get me started on the home goods. Very few of them are “perfect” enough to make it to the sales floor, much less be purchased.

I cannot emphasize this enough: there is PLENTY of secondhand clothing to go around. Resellers aren’t “taking all the good stuff,” because there are still billions of garments ending up in landfills or shredded. Furthermore, most full time resellers aren’t shopping at thrift stores. They are sourcing from rag houses, estate sales, and private collectors. It’s more efficient for them.

Has thrifting changed in the past few years with the rise of online resale? The thing I hear constantly is that there is nothing “good” in the thrift stores, and this assertion is often followed by “because the resellers bought everything good.” This is a story we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel justified in feeling angry and disappointed when we aren’t finding what we want. It feels better to blame someone (resellers) or something (the rising popularity of secondhand shopping). What if I told you that the real “villain” of this story is time? Is fast fashion? The steady flow of low quality clothing that many of us gladly bought and barely wore before jamming in an overflowing donation bin?

Ask any lifelong thrifter (like Dustin or me) and we will tell you that we remember an absolute GOLDEN era of thrifting when we were teenagers. The thrift stores were still full of incredible 60s and 70s clothing, shoes, accessories, jewelry, home goods, you name it! It was cheap and plentiful. And the funny thing is that people who were maybe 10 years older than me would tell me that no, thrifting had been better when THEY were teenagers because the thrift stores were filled with stuff from the 40s, 50s, and 60s. And people my parents’ age would tell me jealousy-inducing stories of finding legit antique clothing from the 1920s when they thrifted as teenagers. So what I’m saying is…thrifting is always going to change with time. Right now we are seeing a lot of clothes from this century–and remember we are 22 years into it..so while you might find some stuff from the 70s or 80s at a thrift store, it will be a bit of a unicorn, because what you’re really finding is late 90s and 21st century clothing. And guess what happened in this century? THE RISE OF FAST FASHION! So yeah, these clothes aren’t always the best quality. And there sure are a ton of them because so many people bought so many of them and barely wore them before donating them and buying more, barely wearing those clothes, and donating them. It’s the sad cycle of overconsumption that we discuss all the time around here. The labels inside these clothes feel less exciting or inspiring. Ask me how many times I’ve seen a cute dress and then…wah wah wah…it’s Old Navy. But if I love that dress, if I think I’m going to wear it a lot and it reflects my own personal style, then YES, I should buy it. We have to change our view of what is “good.” Hate that these clothes are shitty or low quality or just not that impressive to you? Then do your part by buying less trendy fast fashion, buying clothes that you plan to wear for a long time, and caring for them so they might never end up in the thrift store. End the cycle! And be the positive influence to the others in your life to get them to do the same.

Because here’s the truth: there are SO MANY secondhand clothes in this world, way more than we can ever rewear. And they are ending up in landfills all over the world, in the oceans, in the Atacama desert, on beaches in Ghana, and many other places far away from the nearest thrift store. Forgotten by us, but still leaving their mark on the planet and its people.

I’m OVERJOYED that slowly we are removing the stigma of secondhand shopping and more and more people are adopting it as a normal part of daily life. I am SO GLAD that people are making a living reselling online. Why? Because shopping secondhand isn’t easy for many people. It’s hard to know where to begin, it takes a lot of time, access to a car, easy access to laundry and mending materials and all of the other services that resellers are providing by allowing customers to acquire secondhand clothing with a click or a tap. Resellers are doing great work. They are doing hard work. And I’m glad they are being paid for their valuable service.

Okay, so part two of this conversation is if/why/how are thrift store prices increasing? And is it because of resellers? The so-called “gentrification” of thrift?

Yes, thrift store prices have been increasing. And reselling/secondhand shopping has been increasing. But correlation is not causation. Meaning, while on the surface it seems logical that these two things are connected, they actually aren’t!

Why are prices at thrift stores going up?

Increasing rents. You know housing rent has been increasing all over the country? So is commercial rent.

Higher transportation and facilities costs. Yep, since the beginning of the pandemic the costs for trucking, heating/air conditioning, even simple things like price stickers and hangers have all increased.

An increased volume of donations requires more employees to sort and process. And with more and more of these donations being either straight up trash or just way too much for the thrift stores to handle in one location, these donations are either heading to the landfill, the shredding facility, or overseas. All of this movement requires trucks, boats, sorting, baling, and so much more. All of that costs money. And donations have been up during the pandemic as people have downsized or just dramatically reassessed what they want to own.

All of these expenses are passed on to the customers. Even if many thrift stores are non-profit (like Goodwill or Salvation Army), some are for-profit (like Savers). Those that use the proceeds of their sales to provide assistance programs, well they have found that the cost of running those programs has increased. And even the non-profit companies still pay executive bonuses and other perks, so there is an incentive to raise prices and bring in more money. So yeah, thrift stores are raising prices for a ton of reasons, but none of them involve resellers or Depop or any other secondhand platform.

Ultimately the discussion around increasing thrift store prices or the lack of anything “good” being in stores is interesting and certainly important to have. Not because we are looking to villainize anyone, but because it uncovers our tendency to blame individuals (ie, resellers and new secondhand shoppers) for a larger problem, rather than the systems and societal constructs that are actually at the heart of these problems.

The real truth is this: We live in a hyper-consumerist, hyper-capitalistic society. We are trained from birth to want new stuff all the time. We want more and more and more. And all of the large corporations and non-profits associated with the secondhand supply chain are looking to maximize revenue. So they are ready to cash in on whatever we are overconsuming right now.

Plenty of people have transitioned their fast fashion overconsumption to secondhand overconsumption and that’s a problem, too. We all have to break the habit, but it’s all part of this larger ingrained system of behavior that we have to dismantle together. For example: how many thrift haul videos have you seen this week? Sure we can blame the resellers or content creators for making those gleeful videos of overflowing shopping carts rolling down the Goodwill aisles…but the reality is that those videos get more views and likes than a conversation about overconsumption. And resellers rely on social media to acquire customers. So they are just giving the audience what they want in hopes of parlaying it into an income. I don’t blame them. They are giving their customers what they want.

Rather than being angry at resellers, be glad that they are saving clothes from the landfill. Rather than being angry at new secondhand shoppers, be glad that they are making a more sustainable choice.

All of these people…they are part of OUR COMMUNITY. They are on the same team as us. Fighting them is fighting ourselves, and that’s the enemy of progress right there.

Honestly, when I see these kinds of anti-resale, anti-new secondhand shopper conversations happening on social media, it feels like gatekeeping to me, as in limiting who has access to something, who can be part of a movement or a subculture or a community. And I think a lot of this is rooted in gatekeeping the secondhand/thrifting/vintage community. I don’t like it because it discourages others from trying this new, more sustainable way of life. And ultimately, this kind of gatekeeping is harmful to everyone on this planet because we need everyone to adopt a secondhand first lifestyle! You know who never gatekeeps? Fast fashion! Sure they are doing it for greedy reasons, but I do think there is something about the open door of fast fashion that we should be adopting in the slow fashion community because we need EVERYONE to join us.

Rather than gatekeeping thrifting and secondhand, rather than being angry at resellers and new secondhand shoppers, ask yourself these questions:

Why aren’t the platforms like ThredUP, Depop, and Poshmark doing more for the planet and its people? They are the real profiteers in the secondhand game, not the sellers.

And why do we tend to turn on one another, rather than the larger systems and societal norms that are truly responsible? The clothes aren’t as great not because the good stuff has been picked out, but because the companies making these clothes decided that “good” was no longer the goal; “profitable” was more important. The thrift stores are raising prices because they can’t accept making less money off of the things they are selling. Capitalism tells them that they should always pass every cost increase on the customer.

And speaking of capitalism, how do we collectively break the habit of constant shopping and consumption (even when it’s secondhand)?

This–believe it or not– is a great transition into part one of my conversation with Audrey. We are going to talk about one of the root causes of overshopping: our own fears and insecurities. Let’s jump right in!

Amanda

Hey Audrey, why don’t you introduce yourself to everyone?

Audrey

Hey, my name is Audrey Rockett-Collins. I’m a personal stylist and image consultant focusing on sustainable wardrobes that help you look and feel like your most authentic self.

Amanda

Wow, I love that you’ve been practicing that I can tell. So explain a little bit more like what that like, what does that mean from a day to day perspective? Like, because people hear that and they’re like, okay, but like, do you? Are you a personal shopper? Are you a therapist?

Audrey

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. You know, like real brief background, both of my parents have had careers in mental health services. So I always assumed that I was probably on the same track to be a counselor, therapist, or even psychologist. Because I’ve always been, you know, exposed to the benefits of listening, helping one another, bettering our communication, and just kind of providing support in all aspects. So while I’m not licensed, let me put that out there. I absolutely feel that I’ve received feedback from my clients that what we do together is totally therapeutic. So what my work looks like in an average client’s kind of day to day life, is the the benefits of things like doing a closet clean out, letting go of the stuff that no longer fits, doesn’t resonate. Maybe it never fit or resonate yet is wound up in our closet for a multitude of reasons. And just sort of like offering that detox and that professional guidance to give you permission, and support to let go of the things that no longer serve you. With that in mind with the process of letting go of the stuff and making space. When necessary. I also do personal shopping, or even online virtual styling to help people add strategic necessary and fun pieces to their wardrobe to maximize the things we did hold on to.

Amanda

Yeah, I mean, I feel what I mean. And I know you agree, because we’ve totally planned what we’re going to talk about today in advance,

Audrey

Totally planned.

Amanda

I also see this in my own sort of life experience life trajectory as a person developing my style as person who’s bought tons of clothes, that a lot of times a lot of our big part of our overconsumption really stems from sort of a lack of understanding of our own personal aesthetic, our own selves, really, and a lot of our insecurities and unhappiness like that’s, that leads us to go shopping.

Audrey

Absolutely, yeah, we’re trying to solve a problem, that is not actually a problem within us. It’s something that we’ve been made to feel they’re very strategic pointed marketing, that makes us feel like something is lacking within us, we’re filling that void, or trying to fit into that box that size, that aesthetic that’s being sold to us over and over again. Rather than really honing in on what feels authentic, what’s true to who you are, what communicates the things you want to be shared with the world, the things that set you apart. And you’re totally right, like, so much of that unhappiness comes from not really having that clarity. So one of the very first things that I do with my clients is a method that I call the flourish style archetypal method. So my company, I should say, is called Flourish Styling Collective. And what I aim to do through the archetypal method is help my clients understand how, who they are on the inside, so like, what their core personality traits are, what they bring to the table, how they spend their time, or, you know, post pandemic, how they will be spending their time, maybe we’re not doing these things right now. And then is there a post pandemic? I don’t know, we’re not going down that track.

Amanda

I I spent too much time going down that rabbit hole, and then I never find my way out.

Audrey

So yes. So as we’re able to figure out, in other words, how would we ideally spend our time and also what are the day to day things we have to do? And then the final portion of this method is, what are your aspirations? What are the the kind of ultimate goals for how you wish to put yourself into the world how you wish to be perceived? What’s the mission here? And by getting really clear on those three components of who we are, I’m able to translate Got into very specific categories that we call archetypes. So just like we have, you know, in the professional world, we’ve got disc profiles. And of course, Myers Briggs, if you get a little woowoo we’ve got astrology and Enneagram. The goal is never to like, define someone completely. I don’t think that’s possible. I don’t want Well, I mean, I’m pretty hardcore Capricorn with a Gemini rising. And that feels very odd for me. multifaceted, but yeah, I mean, it’s like, you know, even if you don’t totally, like, subscribe to astrology, for example, when you inevitably see those memes on your Instagram feed, you kind of nod your head and you’re like, Yeah, I can see that within myself. So style archetype being is the next level of self assuredness and a deeper understanding of like, oh, okay, I’m not just nodding my head to a meme on Instagram. It’s like this person figured me out. And it happens over the course of like a 45 minute conversation. It’s really cool and really enlightening. And what what ends up happening as the result is we get really clear on who you are, and how that defines your personal style. And when we understand our personal style and identify the parts of ourselves, we want to most Express we are able to break the cycle of buying just because buying because I feel like I’m supposed to fit in buying because it’s on sale buying because everybody else has it. Whatever, whatever those triggers are, we’re kind of able to like release that compulsive or like even bullying that can happen through marketing campaigns.

Amanda

Yeah, I Okay. So I’m going to tell you for Christmas, Dustin bought me this stuff called dad grass, it’s very, very weak marijuana comes in a really cute package. And I have like been soaking it every night as I lay in bed before I go to sleep, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve got major life anxiety, you know, so it helps. A couple nights ago, I you know, I smoked a little bit. I was laying in bed scrolling through Instagram, and I was like, I’m so fucking sick of every single line of clothing, the models being so skinny, like so skinny. And then I was like, what if that’s the plan, because you see that and you feel bad. That’s like unattainable for so many of us this flawless body, flawless skin, endless youth. And it motivates you to buy something to make yourself feel better. And then I was like, Whoa, is that like the ultimate conspiracy theory right there? I don’t know.

Audrey

Yeah. 100%. And rather than the Illuminati being behind it, it’s a group of five, middle aged or elderly white men. This is a conspiracy. There is exactly there’s a plan.

Amanda

They’re all laughing from their yachts as they pour all their money into fighting a raised minimum wage., I grew up just like inhaling fashion magazines, like I would get my part time job paycheck, go to like Rite Aid, or Walgreens or whatever, and buy like every magazine that had just come out. And I really had a love/hate thing with the way that we would be presented archetypes for style by those magazines, which were always less about you as a person, and more about the shape of your body.

Audrey

Yes, yes. Or I don’t know if you experienced this too. Even more general more about what’s available in store. And how can we get you to choose from one of these things? Right,

Amanda

right. Well, I mean, the important thing to I mean, I’m sure everybody who’s listening to this conversation is like, yeah, I already know this. But just in case you don’t, the people working at the magazine who put together these, you know, like you’re a carrot is that a shame? That might be bit it might be bad to be carried. She’d be really long and very tapered at the end. Might like be hard to accomplish. Anyway, let’s say you’re a carrot or whatever. You know, they’re not saying like, Oh, we went out on a quest to find the best clothing for people with carrot shaped bodies. And here’s what they are. No, it’s like, here is what brands sent us. Here’s what our advertisers requested. Here’s what our editor said we needed to do because we’re recording this brand takeout ad space. I mean, it’s like such an industry that Nothing ends up in a magazine just because someone liked it, or thought it was the best. And so these ideas that like we should be shopping based on our body shape, what kind of produce it correlates to what geometrics You know, figure it aligns with what polygon you are. It’s, like, ingrained where I’m like, I mean, I remember even in my career be like, Wow, this is gonna be really tough for people who are an inverted triangle, you know, that kind of thing. And I was wondering, do people come to you with sort of like, pre baked beliefs that have been fed to them? Like, oh, I can’t wear that, because I’m a carrot shaped person. That’s for people who are in great shape.

Audrey

Yes, all of the time. And it’s, it’s heartbreaking to be totally honest with you. Over the many years I’ve been doing this, I’ve been able to harden myself. But it is heartbreaking. And sort of, like, shocking to hear it time and time again, if that makes sense. Because it just solidifies the fact that like, we are being sold what we’re supposed to, like, dislike and what we’re allowed to wear in order to achieve what like, visual pleasure for somebody else, somebody who’s probably never going to actually even see us again, it goes back to that very secret room of five white men or no room, they’re on a yacht, you’re right, all separate yachts. Again, they’re

Amanda

huge, huge job.

Audrey

What was this for? It’s certainly not serving the people who are consuming that content. So what I really try to do with each and every client interaction is understand where she’s at, where is she at? What has she already experienced, what sort of, for better or worse been ingrained, or imprinted on what she believes about herself and her image. So that I can offer a lot of support and empathy, while also guiding her in breaking down those bullshit rules that have been sold to her because they’re not the truth. I mean, from a very technical Image Consulting standpoint, there are certainly ways in which we can utilize shapes, colors, textiles, and silhouettes of an item to achieve a different physical looking outcome. Right. I mean, it’s, it’s like you can be the master of illusions, you, for better or worse have the ability to change the way somebody else might perceive your body type. However, again, like the goal that I hear time and time again, and that I see in our media, is that it’s as if we’re all supposed to achieve the exact same body type, rather than I mean, we all know this, like, when are we going to get to celebrate our differences? When is it okay to be carrot or banana or Apple shaped? And like just be like, Fuck, yeah, I’m a banana. Um,

Amanda

I love that I lean to the left.

Audrey

So I know that most of your audience doesn’t know me you and I have not met in person yet though. I’m so excited to finally make that happen at some point. But definitely, just to just to paint a picture of who you’re talking with right now. I’m about five foot five. And I’ve always carried curves no matter what my actual weight was. That’s just the way my body is built. And I would not say that I have like some you know, slim thick hourglass shape I’m not Kim K. I’ve definitely got a tummy after having my daughter but I’ve always considered myself closest to an hourglass meanwhile just to do some market research and see what kind of garbage my clients and friends see if they Google like what body type am I I put in my exact measurements with my bus to waist and hip ratios? And literally my result was banana and I don’t know what that means. Considering a similarly to a carrot a banana has tapered on both ends. So I mean for me, I don’t know but again like thank God I have the expertise to know not to take that at face value that is absolute garbage advice and not an accurate portrayal of my shape guys.

Amanda

It is hard out there and I think you know we get so hung up on this idea of like what’s flattering which really is like what’s okay for us to wear and that like we said that’s that’s being determined by some dudes on a yacht. And it’s not even like you know, size is one of the things that’s just shoved down our throats and like I’m still my brain is reeling that literally someone said banana shape. I just picture you have to walk sideways. Parents to right, but also age age is like such a big one. I you know, I recently finished watching the Sex in the City reboot and I’m really on Reddit. So I read the comments on there. And I’m just like stunned by how this primarily female subreddit is like, she’s too old for that. That’s age inappropriate or like I I have faced that I remember, I’m just gonna tell you at my last job, one of the assistant buyers on my team was a fucking monster. Like, just a terrible person. And she would always be like, aren’t you embarrassed that you don’t dress your age? And I was like, wow, well, for some of your boss, really weird. They think you could talk to me like that. But also, what like, I’m not. Well, even if I were 100 years old, I can wear whatever I want. And, you know, that kind of stuff gets into our heads. Like, that’s a pretty brutal example of someone being really direct with you about it. But like, think about like, all the things I have seen passed by my ears and eyes since I was a teenager. Like, once you turn 30 You should stop wearing mini skirt. Or once you’re 40 you should always wear long sleeves or like something. I’m estranged from my mom now but she was obsessed not to my face, which everyone else around me the fact that I have really long hair, and that you should cut that off. I guess when you turn some magical age that 3035 I’m not really sure. And it was just appalling to her that I would be have the gall to walk around at my decrepit advanced age with long.

Audrey

Oh my god, Amanda.

Amanda

Well, you know, like, the things that like we hear, like, if you’re, you know, 35 You shouldn’t wear I don’t know, like trendy esthetics. You know, I like it’s I don’t even understand, I guess you’d reach an age where you’re supposed to put on like a sack and a blazer and like, cut your hair really short and call it a day. And like, why is that? Okay? Listen, I would hear the stuff when I was like, 25. And I’d be like, okay, noted, when I worked. Yeah, I can wear. Like, I remember being like, I guess I shouldn’t like by anyone’s short skirts anymore, because like, I’m not gonna wear them for very long. And then he turned 30. And I was like, Are you fucking kidding me? Like, when? Why did we think it was okay to be like, 30 is really old. 40 is really old. 50 is really old. You know, what’s really old? 90? Yes, 90 is really old. And I still I would not go up to someone who’s 90 and be like, I just don’t think you’re addressing your age?

Audrey

Absolutely not? Absolutely not. There are all of these rules and regulations put in place, by the media, sometimes sustained even by bloggers who may not even realize that they’re a part of this ongoing problem of policing women’s bodies. It’s really what it is. And again, trying to cram you into a box that will achieve some sort of who knows, again, visual pleasure for somebody who’s never going to see you, right? So yeah, I’m, I’m a rebel like, I’m a grown up punk kid, this is my this is my background, like I have always been a little rough around the edges. And with that said, I am an expert rule breaker. It has been my life’s mission to empower other folks, specifically, people who identify as women to say no to break up with clothes that make them hate their bodies more to let go of the crap that has been holding them back from actually liking the way they look. And showing up in a way that feels authentic, whatever that means. Again, like with the way style archetype works, there is a large variety of ways that your style comes out to play. This is not about boxing you and this is not about adding more rules and regulations. This is about giving you the groundwork to wear whatever the hell you want, whenever you want to. Yeah.

Amanda

That’s what should be in. Seriously, just to reiterate it, I believe that these so called rules and regulations, which feel like rules and regulations to all of us, right. Like, we wouldn’t be surprised if they had not been written into law and signed off by the president because they’ve been so deeply ingrained into us from the moment we start getting dressed. Absolutely. And I think that these rules tend to make us buy a lot more stuff that we don’t build a relationship with, that we toss aside pretty fast because it doesn’t feel right to us. So let’s talk about the archetypes. So you and I you did the process for me and I thought it was it was so onpoint

Audrey

I love that I really enjoyed going through the process with you and with any client or friend that I have already had a little a little bit of a rapport with, you know, like I’ve been stalking you on Instagram and podcasts for 1000 years. So I feel like there are indicators in the way you show up in your podcasts and through your content that already give me hints at what times kinds of archetypes are going to make the most sense for you. So when we were going through your quiz, it was a delight to have confirmation for some of those. And also to have the privilege of getting to know you on a deeper level, and understanding parts of your personality and how that relates to your style that may not show up in every interaction we’ve had or that I’ve had privilege of listening to you have with other guests on the pod. So what I loved about going through this method with you was seeing the things you had already told me about your style, like the fact that you really enjoy the thrill of the hunt. When it comes to thrifting or vintage, you love the ability to collect and curate things, those directly correlated to your archetypes, including the Grameen, who is always sort of pushing the boundaries. Maybe she is doing a little bit of like, gender bending, or what we can also call like androgynous dressing, or she’s just a little playful or mischievous. And then we also learned that you have some very key feminine elements and your style as well. You live for a dress, you feel like you and a dress, you have a long, beautiful hair. These are classically feminine elements. And well I support people of all bodies and all identities dressing however the hell they please, we do know that we associate dresses and long locks with a more feminine aesthetic. And uncovering that part of you was really cool as somebody who hasn’t been able to see a whole lot of you honestly. Yeah. It’s yeah,

Amanda

I mean, I definitely keep a low profile. You know?

Audrey

Exactly. And I get that, I totally get that. So when it comes to understanding the archetypes, I think maybe for our listeners, I could do like a brief rundown of what the heck these archetypes are. Because I know I keep just saying that sort of arbitrary phrase.

Amanda

No, I’d love that. Yeah. So let’s, let’s break it. Let’s break it down and tell us about

Audrey

Yeah, so with the flourish method, I use eight core archetypes that then can be mixed together to kind of create your own special formula for personal style success. So starting with the most Angular, and quote unquote, masculine archetype, we’ve got the dramatic, the dramatic comes out to play in like a storybook or movie setting. Typically as the villain, the bad guy, the Witch, and they just sort of have this like, other worldly all knowing. Not not sneaky, like impish, or like mischievous, but like secretive. And a prime example of seeing this both in personality and in wardrobe, would be Angelina Jolie as Maleficent shard that’s what I was scary. Yeah, yeah. So I mean, Maleficent has a story behind why she looks and dresses and acts in certain ways, right? We all have things that have happened to us, that will shape the way we show up in our relationships in our environments. And again, I just want to clarify like when I use the term masculine, that doesn’t mean manly, it means sharper, straighter, Angular. So going down the line, to kind of one step below that very sharp, avant garde vibe of a sorcerer, which we’ve got the Cosmopolitan, she is sleek, she is forward thinking. She is the person who you would consider a trend setter, without ever having set out to set the trend. It’s not her goal. It’s just her way of existing. She’s the cool girl. She’s the city slicker. And she’s, again sort of the way atraumatic has that like all knowing spooky depth to their personality, the Cosmopolitan, she just kind of has it figured out. She’s got this self assuredness whether it’s been cultivated and grown or she was just born with it, she knows some things.

Audrey

And the way in which you’re going to see that style come to life is going to be through less sharp but still structured lines in her clothing. And when I say lines, that means things like literal lines like him lines. So where does the pant fall? What’s the shape of the bottom of the blazer? How pointy is the lipstick Things like that. But it can also lend itself to the patterns that are utilized in these textiles. The Cosmopolitan in particular often just sticks with solids, because it is easier to build a really striking wardrobe in her opinion, if everything just goes together, so she’s going to be wearing something like an oversized, but trim plaid blazer with a sharper lapel, and a high waisted leather or leather look pant, she’s pushing the boundaries just a little bit in with the goal of being ahead of the curve. She wants to be sort of first on the scene. Moving down the line further. Next up, we’ve got the Classic and the Classic is probably exactly what you picture in your mind. When I say that word. We’re talking about classic, almost predictable style. When we envision a typical capsule wardrobe, or if you can’t envision it, you’re trying to figure out what the hell a capsule wardrobe is. You get on Pinterest and you type it in. Oftentimes, the core pieces that will first populate are what we all consider to be wardrobe staples. And again, is this an idea that’s being sold to us and is maybe not right for everybody? Absolutely. But at the same time to the classics benefit. We have seen things like a khaki trench, a black ankle pant, a aumento ballet flat come into play for like the past 75 years. These are not new styles, they have stood the test of time in modern history. The classics number one goal, when she is building a wardrobe is she wants things to last. So she is electing for the highest quality she can afford classics come in all shapes, sizes and budgets, of course, because again, this is not defined by things outside of our control is from within us really. But she is going to buy the best quality she can afford at the time she needs to make a purchase. She is probably the most naturally strategic, she doesn’t really want to be bothered with a bunch of options. So aside from maybe handbags that feel really versatile, special or maybe even sentimental, impossibly investment. She’s not collecting a lot of stuff in her wardrobe. She is really about function over form. And the classic is the opposite of a rule breaker. She wants to do the right thing. Her style, as I said it’s stood the test of time already. And her mindset is often sort of like, well, it’s worked thus far. Why why steer away from that, right? So brands that are going to resonate with her are also maybe going to be some of those old school brands that have been with us for a long time, such as Brooks Brothers, they’re things that you can we’ve all come to rely on for creating the same types of things over and over and over again.

Audrey

Next up, this is sort of our neutral ground style archetype: the Natural. Her first goal when she gets dressed, if she even bothers to get dressed today is comfort. So trolls were thriving at the height of the pandemic, when we all had permission to be in sweats all day every day. Comfort is key. naturals often also have sort of like a youthful playful go with the flow stress free sort of Outlook. It certainly doesn’t mean they have to be young and age, but they have a young spirit and open mind naturally and just sort of a willingness to be down for the cause they’re willing to try that new thing. Whereas our classic friend before she’s gonna stick with what she knows the natural is more willing to try something a little bit outside of her element if it physically feels good on her skin so naturals often end up in easy to wear pieces. Like like joggers, joggers are for the natural whether she’s actually like active or not. She loves it right and like that’s not that’s not missing. snide remark towards anybody, she is looking at things that are just like, functional and feel good. And she lives for like band tees, a plain T two pair under a jean jacket. Maybe if the denim is really washed and soft. She’s not the person who’s wearing a rigid denim that you have to break in for the next four years. She wants things to be easy. So oftentimes a natural is going to be shopping at a place like the gap, maybe even Old Navy. But she can also play up that sort of free spirited part, depending on which other archetype she might be paired with. And go a little bit bohemian. Because she’s, she’s got this sort of like, yeah, sure, whatever. I would love to try that way of being in the world. So you can often catch her in something like, again, comfy soft jeans, but a slightly flowy top.

Amanda

Mm hmm. Yeah, I can picture this complete. Yeah.

Audrey

And again, like when she did have to start wearing clothes again, as the world has sort of reopened, she is all about the plain white sneaker trend that has taken over the universe, she can wear those plain white sneakers with everything and not even have to pretend to care if it matches or not. It’s in style, it’s easy. I’m gonna go for that just slip them on. She’s good to go.

Amanda

I see a lot of that here in Austin, for sure.

Audrey

So next in line, we’ve got the Creative, the Creative is one of the most interesting archetypes for me to work with, because I am also partly a Creative. So it’s really fun to see the ways in which I can help somebody who is already thinking about their wardrobe on a very regular basis, enhance or even bring things together. The Creative’s number one mission, what her primary goal is, is to express something to share something about who she is, on an everyday basis, whether she’s getting dressed just for herself, she’s just at home, or she’s actually going out into the world and knows people will see her.

Amanda

I wouldn’t. Yeah, yeah.

Audrey

It makes you feel good to feel like you. Yeah. And we, and there’s a part of you that just needs to express that. That’s the goal, right? Yeah. So what the struggle that I see with Creative sometimes, even, like the two of us who have been in the world of retail, and fashion and style for a significant time, is sometimes we will consume something just because it’s fabulous. And not necessarily because we know how it fits into our wardrobe. Right? Yeah. So when I’m working with a creative who is forward thinking in her fashion, my best service to her is helping her to maximize the thing she already owns. And to really help her where her collection, because I guarantee she’s got awesome stuff. And it deserves to come out to play. Sometimes I will see that creatives have tried to squish into a box that doesn’t fit right, or their spirit has been squashed and hurt. And so she is in recovery of having no permission and support to finally be a total weirdo and really expressive art see? Individualistic human. And so again, my support, this is the therapy part coming back in is just to be her cheerleader, it doesn’t mean that she can’t shop on her own. It’s that she never had permission to trust her own instinct.

Amanda

Yeah, I hear that. I think that that’s so true. I have definitely felt that, you know, when you’re working 20 where you’re working in fashion, you really, you really have to represent the brand. It’s, it’s not even like that is expressly set in writing. But the reality is, if you want to succeed at that company, you will absolutely and I’m not gonna lie, there’s some companies I’ve worked for where I’m like, this isn’t really fit to who I am. And so I’m trying to fit myself into this box. And what happens is when I leave that job, all those clothes get donated or sold, like it just always feels like I was wearing a costume to work.

Audrey

Yes, I completely understand that. Yeah, it’s like you want to Well, there are indicators, right, like non verbal indicators of knowing you found the right people, you found the right crowd, environment, culture, place to live, whatever those things are, that you’re searching for. And sometimes when we find people who look and feel and act like us, we feel at home. But when our differences are not celebrated, per se In the workplace, that creative spirit in particular, is just floundering. And yeah, you’re totally buying and consuming things that will just never work. And then you end up feeling like a failure. Yeah, really frustrated.

Amanda

Yeah, I really enjoyed doing the assessment with you. Because I think, as a person who’s been always really invested, like emotionally and otherwise, in my own personal style, and expressing myself with clothing, it was really validating. It was sort of like someone said, Hey, you, be you. And I think we all need a lot more of that in our lives.

Audrey

Yeah, I’m really glad to hear that, Amanda, that’s exactly what the goal is. Yeah, permission and, and simultaneously, permission to say, that assessment didn’t work, or I don’t want to be put into this category, I’m gonna do my own thing. You have my blessing. Right? It’s totally just one way of discovering these things.

Amanda

You know, whether you lean into astrology, or Myers Briggs, or any of these other, there’s so many personality assessments out there. And I’ve had to every job I’ve had, we’ve taken a different brands of assessment to help determine how we best work and work with others. And you know, what? I? I think that people, I know myself included, even those buzzfeed quizzes that are like, what Disney Princess, are you? We kind of love doing that? Because we always figure out something about ourselves, even if we totally lie on the answers. Yes.

Audrey

Yes. Yeah, I totally, I totally agree with that. And again, like, for me, it just goes back to what I think is a really intrinsic part of ourselves, we are looking to fit in, it doesn’t mean that like, in this term, in this part of our conversation, it doesn’t mean we’re trying to fit in with what’s being sold to us. This is like the true part of I need to find my people in order to survive, right? So making sure that you are able to be you so they can find you also is so fundamental to feeling connected with your, your environment, your community.

Amanda

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Audrey

So we have, we have three other archetypes. So I’ll try to breeze through these. But next in line after the creative, that’s the Gamine. We briefly talked about her because she definitely showed up in part in your archetype. And I will say most people who go through my method of archetype being have at least a combination of two, sometimes we see three, which is not uncommon. But really, it’s kind of understanding the ways in which multiple personalities are coming together to create, like I said, your magic, your special sauce for style. So that can mean as I mentioned, she’s often sort of playful with her clothing, she is a little bit mischievous. She rather than pushing the envelope in like a trend setting way like the cosmopolitan might, she’s pushing the envelope to see what she can get away with. She has this sort of like, impish way of trying new things to see if anybody notices. And she does want people to notice, by the way, she is not interested in flying under the radar. And one of the ways in which I see that characteristic come to life frequently is by being really deliberate with the way we mix her patterns and prints and being playful with the colors that we include in her wardrobe. And, and what I mean by that is still honing in on the colors that suit her best. That’s a huge part of what I offer my clients, but of the color wheel that’s made for her. We’re looking at the things that have a really striking interaction together. So we’re using color theory to create sort of this like collage of color in her wardrobe. We might be playing with a really unique, monochromatic look that’s heavy on the pattern play, so that she’s still doing her like, Oh, look at me, I’m doing something cool and different than everybody. Or she’s going full tilt high contrast. Let’s add these colors that have this sort of dissonance between them. And we’re going to get away with it. Totally, yes, yes. So I like to mention for the Gamine archetype, it might come as a surprise to some people, but Audrey Hepburn is actually a true gummy and we think of her as being a classic and I absolutely think that that is part of her true style. Interesting. Yeah, she Trust me, she totally set the stage for a lot of those timeless pieces that I was mentioning before, like her wardrobe and Sabrina. Yes, absolutely. Like those are incredible pieces. But I also know that we’ve got gamin coming into play in the ways in which she pushed wardrobe and personality boundaries, on and off screen. She was one of the very first women in Hollywood who had a pixie cut. She had really tiny baby bangs that were not necessarily the fashion norm at in that era. She was also one of the first feminine looking icons who was wearing pants on screen. She kind of started the pixie pant movement that cropped tailored ankle pant when women were still feeling like they were forced to wear like the Dior new look. So a very fitted, but waspy waist. And then if, excuse me a much fuller, a line almost ballgown skirt, even just for like a day dress. She did that too, for sure. Because again, she’s got a multitude of style archetypes. And of course we know she’s playing into other archetypes as she takes on new characters. But she was always pushing the boundaries. And you can even see it sometimes in the way to sound silly. But in the way her eyebrows were styled. She would she started what I will call the Spock eyebrow shape. So before anybody else was doing an angular look, aside from just like a really sharp, almost seductive angled brow, she was drawing these sharp lines or her makeup artists was drawing these sharp lines that just sort of like went to the sides of her face and then tapered, they didn’t have a soft rounded arch that we were seeing so frequently in Hollywood to convey a more youthful or feminine vibe or again, like that sultry high arched brow. So she was playful. She was pushing boundaries. She was gender bending. And so I got to give her a shout out for being an iconic Gamine.

Amanda

Yeah, I feel like a lot of people aren’t thinking of that, you know, because, like, so much of her wardrobe of that time has become classic. Yes. And I think that’s interesting to think about how these archetypes evolve over time.

Audrey

It’s totally agree with you. Well, and okay, so on the topic of Audrey Hepburn. The second to last archetype is called the ingenue. So there are two more feminine again, like I kind of hate using these words, but it’s what I’ve got right now, there are two more feminine archetypes. We’ve got the ingenue who is described as a young femininity, or a youthful girlishness. She is the quintessential girl next door. And we absolutely could see that in somebody like Audrey Hepburn. She, no matter what age she was, she would have a girlish kind of demure way of being in the world. Was she also a changemaker with a voice for advocacy? Yes. But she just had sort of like, an approachability to her. She was the girl next door, even when she was, you know, in her late 60s, for example. The ingenue often will showcase her femininity in small scale ways. So she loves a ruffle. She loves a ditzy floral print. She even likes a very small polka dot, maybe an islet, scallops, things like that. But all of those details or textures and shapes, they’re they’re contained. She’s not going over the top. It’s not an exaggerated ruffle. It’s small, Team safe, and again, approachable. One defining characteristic. And one way that I always know at the very beginning of this assessment that I haven’t ingenue on my hands, is she really wants to get it right. Whatever it it is. So when we’re taking the quiz, she’s really thoughtful about her answers. And she just wants to make sure she said the right thing. Because I’ll tell you, honestly, when you take this quiz, as you know, it’s a yes or no answer.

Amanda

Yeah, and it goes fast.

Audrey

I don’t want you to sit there and think about it. Yeah, you’re thinking about it. You’re overanalyzing. And when you overanalyze, it’s not your truth sometimes, but the ingenue always took the longest to take me. And they ask a lot of clarifying questions which I really admire and I love if you don’t know what a word means. I want you to ask me if you don’t know if this identifies in your style or way of being let’s talk about that. But she is a student for all of her life?

Amanda

I understand this.

Audrey

Yes, totally, totally. So finally, on on the flip side of that very girlish young, youthful femininity, we’ve got the Romantic and the Romantic can show up in a few different ways, again, depending on what she might be combined with as far as archetypes go, but point blank, she’s womanly, she’s warm, she’s often sentimental, and there is this magnetism to her. So she could be something like a pinup have that sort of like curvy rockabilly, alluring vibe. Or she could be someone really soft and nurturing. Like Glinda the Good Witch, I cannot think of a more Romantic fantasy character, then, Glenda, she is the helper she has the answers. And again, like looking at, there are all these spectrums, right within the style archetypes, we’ve certainly talked about scale and shapes a little bit. But the dramatic, who we really started with big scale, big feelings, even if they don’t want you to know what those feelings are, because they’re secretive because they’re a sorcerer. The Romantic has equally large scale feelings and emotions. But she’s letting you know, she’s wearing these sweeping trains on her dress. Her wedding gown probably was dazzled. Or it had this antique lace that had been passed down in her family for generations. Maybe she went full scale Disney princess and did a ball gown. I mean, why not? It’s the most special day of your life. And I want to remember it for always. So that’s the Romantic, big feelings, womanly magnetic vibes. And again, like sometimes that can go very vibe of them. Sofia Vergara for example. She is all woman, she has a very traditionally feminine figure. And she’s not afraid to show that off. However, that’s only one flavor of how this can come into play in a real life wardrobe. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Amanda

Yeah, and I think I mean, if you didn’t pick up on what Audrey was putting down, like, yes, we tend to talk about these archetypes in terms of feminine, feminine or masculine. We’re like very aware that that’s a very dated idea yes to that binary. And so people of all genders can fall into all of these archetypes. Yes, which is exciting.

Audrey

And totally, totally, I feel the same way. And just to put it out there. My method is made specifically to cater to people who identify as female. However, there are other systems to help people who identify as male exclusively. And it’s really about finding somebody who can coach and guide you and share support and expertise. And understand who you are and where you are at. Everybody is welcome in the world of styling, whether it feels that way or not. There are actually a lot of us here who want you to feel like you can sit with us.

Amanda

I love that because I feel like when we talk about style, we talk about fashion. Often these two are seen as synonyms. They’re really not right fashion. It’s so exclusionary, in fact, fashion thrives on the feeling of feeling left out, because that forces us to buy more stuff to feel like we can fit in. Yes, it’s depressing.

Audrey

Amen sister.

Amanda

Knowing it knowing is half the battle, as GI Joe says.