Episode 223: Winning the Battle Against Doomerism

The night that Trump won the election remains way too sharp and painful in my memories. And no, not THAT election, but the one in 2016.

And no, this week’s episode is not about Trump, I promise.

Back then I was living in Portland, OR, working at my worst job ever. We planned–for months–a big election party at our offices. It was open to the public and we were supposed to be celebrating our first woman president.

Now for those of you who don’t live in the US: election results start to come in as polls close. And since the US has three time zones, by the time our party started in Portland, OR in the Pacific Time Zone, results from a significant chunk of the country were already available.  And they were coming in very, very dark.

The party started out rambunctious and hopeful.  But over the next few hours, it grew quieter.  At some point, I couldn’t take it any more, so I left and went to a nearby bar with my friends, Reyna, Colin, Todd, and Christine.  Dustin was doing sound for an event downtown that night (and I think it was some sort of election related thing).  We sat in silence in the bar, drinking our drinks way too fast.  Everybody was trying to avoid crying.  Eventually, Reyna, Colin, and I headed back to our neighborhood on SE Foster. We stopped at a convenience store for cigarettes because everyone was feeling that kind of way.  Reyna and I waited outside the store, while Colin went in.  While we were standing there, a massive truck with Trump flags on it pulled up and two guys jumped out.  They didn’t even bother parking in a space. They just wanted to yell at us “I bet you (f slur) crybabies are really crying now.” I just responded, “Sir, we are women.”

The next day, I was walking to the bus stop to work and a guy wound down his window just to yell “you’re a stupid ugly bitch, you know that right?”

Wow, if this was how the next four years were going to be, I didn’t know how I was going to survive it.

But somehow I did.  And there were times when I just didn’t know.  My job was horrible, but I felt trapped financially. One of the first things the new administration did was try to repeal the ACA (the Affordable Care Act, sometimes called Obamacare).  The ACA was a big life changer for many, many people. It made insurance accessible to people who did not receive it via their employers. Which btw how fucked up is that we get our health insurance via our jobs? It also guaranteed coverage for check ups, birth control, and other necessary services. And it finally struck down the “pre-existing condition” clause that allowed insurance companies to deny coverage for all kinds of care. Like, if you had MS or Lupus before signing up for a new health insurance provider, the new one didn’t have to cover any of your treatment or tests for those conditions.  As a person who is a cancer survivor and has bipolar disorder, I couldn’t get anything tangentially related to my cancer history covered, much less the bloodwork and care necessary for treating my bipolar disorder.  

But in 2016, when I took the worst job ever, that employer did not offer health insurance, despite millions in sales.  I was promised that they were “working on it.” Spoiler: they were not working on it.  But the ACA let me have health insurance, so I didn’t care about it too much.

That changed when Trump became president and began to dismantle the ACA.  The next year the cost of my health insurance doubled, while the benefits decreased. The deductible increased and some services–like ER visits–were no longer covered. Well, that year I had mono, with a lot of serious complications that required tests and treatment. Getting to that deductible before insurance would pay for anything was stretching us so thin financially. Then my daughter had some serious health issues that required multiple hospitalizations and a fully not-covered-at-all ER visit. I was seriously considering bankruptcy because we were drowning in medical bills.  So leaving the worst job ever was not an option.

And there was always something to be worried and upset about. Always a reason to fight: the Muslim ban, kids in cages at the border, cuts to important parts of the social safety net, as well as the education system…the list was endless and that’s before we even got to 2020!

The thing is…I felt profoundly sad, profoundly angry all of those days and months. But I never felt doomed.  I felt that it was all temporary, because people would fight back, the next election would change things, and really how bad could it all get?

Well of course it got worse. And there was this scar on our country. Not even a scar yet, really just an open wound of division amongst our people. There was the MAGA versus everyone else stuff, but moreover, the infighting within the left side of the political spectrum was appalling.  I remember it getting crazy before the 2016 election. I remember people–who I felt shared the same concern for people and planet–I remember them saying that they couldn’t wait to “watch it all burn.” As if human suffering was a great tradeoff for I don’t know, being right? I saw this kind of division play out in the Facebook group for the Portland Women’s March. I saw it on social media everywhere. Over time, the “watch it all burn” crowd shifted to “well, we’re all fucked anyway, so who cares.”  

And when you get down to it, well the list of scary “omg we are so fucked” things is pretty long:

• Climate change
• Plastic pollution
• That mega volcano under Yosemite
• The inevitable Pacific Northwest earthquake
• The rise of fascism
• War and genocide
• Another pandemic

So you can’t blame people for being like,” fuck it, we’re all doomed and I’m going to go on a shopping spree at Temu.”

Actually, wait…I have to tell you about this post I saw on reddit:

Okay, maybe that doesn’t qualify as giving up, but it kinda does?

Anyway, this mindsight of despair, apathy, not believing that things can change and be better…just fully discounting any possibility of progress.  That’s doomerism.

I too cope with doomerism quite often.  It’s a regular battle with a fugly little troll who shows up when I’m tired, when I read more bad news, when it all just feels so overwhelming. There are times in my life when it took months to dig myself out of doomerism. Strangely it has gotten easier as I have gotten older, maybe because experience gives me broader perspective.

And so even when I’m just so tired. When the news is just so bad, I just…well, I care too much to give in to it. Call me a foolish optimist, but I really do believe that we can change the course of this world.  And you know what, DON’T call me a foolish optimist because while I’m optimistic, I’m pragmatic, which means I’m sensible and realistic.  Yet I see what we can do, I can see the potential of humanity to overcome major obstacles and thrive.  I see that potential in all of us.  

In this week’s episode, we’re going to talk about my own quest for finding reasons to feel optimistic.  And how we as individuals can fight off doomerism (and still have plenty of energy left to make the world a better place).  I have been wanting to do this episode for a while–it’s been on my mind since I was in Japan–but I didn’t feel ready.  This week was going to be part 2 in my series about slow fashion and inclusivity, but knowing that this is inauguration week in the United States, when wildfires have been raging in California, when people have been fretting about TikTok and so much more…it feels like a good time to have this conversation.  And I hope you finish this episode feeling empowered and excited. Or at least strong and sturdy enough to keep hanging in there.

Welcome to Clotheshorse, the podcast that is just so glad that you are here.

This is episode 223, one I am tentatively calling “Winning the Battle Against That Fugly LIttle Troll, Doomerism.  Now more than ever, we need to talk about how we can stay motivated and engaged in the movement for a better world. The news has been brutal even since the first day of this year. Let’s see…we had a mass murder in New Orleans, a guy blew himself up in a cybertuck outside Trump Tower (btw both of those happened on New Year’s Day).  Lots of violence around the world, wildfires in LA, a few plane crashes, a couple of ongoing genocides, the looming threat of bird flu, and oh yeah, Trump is becoming president again this week.

Cool. Things are totally cool. No really.

I recently had a massive and very scary panic attack. That’s why there wasn’t a new episode last week. My anxiety has been building since about October, with despair and depression joining it after the election. I just saw so much ugliness in every corner of social media leading up to the election and then afterwards. The ever accelerating array of crazy bad news every day wasn’t helping.   I have also been exhausted. In addition to all of the work I do on Clotheshorse (which is a full time job), I work a full time job that actually pays my bills, my kid’s tuition, etc. I also help a wild number of people with school projects, do free talks for classes and clubs, and act as a quasi-therapist/cheerleader for many people I only know from social media. I like helping!

Exhaustion + anxiety + depression…well, that’s a recipe for an impending panic attack. And it was terrifying. It lasted about 45 minutes, I was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn’t breathe, it felt like my brain was no longer controlling my body. For days afterwards, I just didn’t’ feel well and I needed 12 hours of sleep each night.  Dustin and I didn’t even talk about what happened until days later.  I just wasn’t ready.

It was also a wake up call that I needed to make some personal decisions that I think will set me up for a good 2025. And honestly, these decisions are part of maintaining my energy to fight for a better world. They are designed to stave off doomerism.  We’ll get to more things we can all do to win the battle against doomerism later in this episode, but I want to share my list of life changes for the year:

★ I am saying “no” more often. I hate saying that word, but I also have to have time to live life (relax, sleep, clean, read, whatever), and in 2024, I really did not have that. If I say no to you, know that I would love to say yes if I just had five more hours in the day. If it takes me a while to respond to your email or DM, know that it’s not because I don’t care, I just don’t have time right then. It’s not you, it’s me.

★ I am calling out misinformation I see on social media (and helping you learn how to spot it). We tend to think that false information is a problem on the other side of the political spectrum, but alas, there is a ton of that happening on the progressive side, too. 

★ I am calling out people who are rude, mean, or shitty to me. I usually just compartmentalize that stuff, but it’s been taking a toll. Last year I dealt with strangers telling me I’m ugly, stupid, and mean. Also: stalking and harassment that extended to my family members. NOT OKAY.

These things will hopefully conserve my emotional and physical energy. Because there’s a lot of work to do this year!

After the new year (okay, we literally left on New Year’s Day), Dustin and I went on a desert road trip.  And my goal for the whole trip was to visit places where I could gather hope about the future of humanity, specifically in the fight against climate change. But really, beating climate change is going to require all kinds of other bad things we’re doing to be fixed, too.  So I guess it was really just a road trip to find hope.  And the thing is, I didn’t have to look too hard to find it.

Now I will say that the trip started off kinda, uh, unhopeful, because Dustin had norovirus for a day. And I’ll just say you know you love someone when you hear them barf and pee out of their butt for 12 hours and you still think they are the bee’s knees AND the cat’s pajamas.

After Dustin’s guts were done exploding, we hit the road and saw a lot of cool shit.

• First we visited Montezuma Castle, a National Monument in Arizona. It’s not actually a castle, but rather a 20 room high rise apartment, built into (and out of) limestone cliffs, about 90 feet up a sheer cliff. Humans built it in about 1050, using pretty basic tools.  I read that women and children handled most of the plaster work, as it was a regular maintenance project. It took 300 years to build the whole thing, but it is a feat of architectural design and innovation.  No one knows why the original builders of Montezuma Castle decided to take on the epic task of building a home in the side of a cliff, but some hypothesize that they made this decision to protect themselves from the regular flooding of Beaver Creek (which happened pretty regularly during monsoon season). Building into the cliff kept them safe, while also retaining relatively easy access to the creek for drinking water, cooking, washing, and farming. The residents of Montezuma Castle left around 1425 and never came back. No one knows why, but most likely they decided to migrate somewhere new and possibly better.

• So why did that give me hope about humanity and climate change? Well here were people with no fancy tools at their disposal, who saw a challenge (escaping the flooding of Beaver Creek) and decided to do something that seems impossible even now: build a whole ass apartment building in the side of a cliff. It took centuries to finish it! But they did it. And just think: they had to start from scratch, even building the ladders they needed to climb the cliff.  It just shows how humans can innovate and create.
• Next we went to Arcosanti. Arcosanti is an “experimental town” out in the desert just north of Phoenix, Arizona. It explores the concept of arcology, basically using architectural design to create densely populated cities with minimal environmental impact. Construction began in 1970 and the goal was to be large enough to house 5000 people, in a relatively small space.  It includes a pool, ceramics studio, a bronze casting facility, amphitheatre, apartments, and a greenhouse. Rather than the grid of a typical city, the structures are organic and curved, designed to capture the sun’s light and heat and make access to all elements easier.  That structure is also supposed to increase social interaction, building greater connections between its inhabitants. Over time, the project was not finished to its full fruition thanks to lack of funding, but it remains a place where others interested in arcology can go to take classes and learn about ways to use architecture to build better communities. Visitors like Dustin and me can take a tour, hang out in the cafe (which has good books, great sunlight, and no take out containers), an art gallery, and all around beautiful environment. 
• So why did that give me hope about humanity and climate change? Well, it’s an incredible place that passionate volunteers–called Workshoppers– came together to build with their bare hands. People are still learning there regularly and it’s comforting to know that there are humans out there thinking about how the spaces we inhabit have an impact on the world outside them (and how we can build them better). To be honest, if Arcosanti had the money it needed, it could have set the standard for urban planning.
• Next we went to Biosphere 2, just north of Tucson, AZ in a town called Oracle. Biosphere 1 is literally the Earth. And Biosphere 2 was built in the late 1980s “to serve as a center for research, outreach, teaching, and lifelong learning about Earth, its living systems, and its place in the universe.” The science and innovation needed to create the whole thing is well…visionary! Things didn’t go perfectly (read the Wikipedia article to learn more, including a cameo from Steve Bannon). There’s also a great documentary (that TBH should have been a miniseries because there is so much to cover) called Spaceship Earth. The failures of Bisophere 2 are rooted in fear and money (both things humans need to work out), but it’s still an amazing example of what humans can accomplish by working together. Now Biosphere 2 is strictly used for research around issues related to water, climate change, and biodiversity. But initially it was intended to be a fully contained ecosystem for humans, ideally a test case for building biospheres in space. Like I said, things went a little awry (because humans are human), but it’s still incredible. It contains a variety of different biomes, including a coastal desert (where we were greeted by the smell of orchids), an ocean, a savanna, a rainforest, and more. All of this is fully indoors and maintained using incredible human innovation. 
• Lastly, we visited Saguaro National Park, outside of Tucson.  It’s so beautiful and it feels unreal.  Saguaros are those huge cacti that look like they have arms.  Your classic cartoon cactus.  They can only grow in a very specific climate…the Sonoran Desert of Arizona, one part of Mexico, and a sliver of California.  Saguaros can live more than 150 years and they don’t really grow their first “arm” until they are about 75-100 years old . When you see how many arms some saguaros have, you’re like “omg these things are old!”
• In the middle of the last century, observers noticed that there were a lot less saguaros in the park, particularly after some unusual cold weather.  Saguaros can only handle about 20 hours of below freezing temperatures before they die.  And while weather is well, weather…young saguaros were not appearing to replace those that had succumbed to the cold. By 1962, some researchers were predicting that there would be no saguaros left by 2000. 
• Okay, so this is depressing.  Why do I see this as a reason to be optimistic about the future of humanity? Well, something important to include here is that cattle grazing was allowed in Saguaro National Park.  In fact, INTENSE cattle grazing was allowed through the 1970s.  The park hired ecologist Warren F. Steenbergh to conduct a study into the impact of that cattle grazing.  His research indicated that not only were cattle eating all of the vegetation that helped provide the right conditions for young saguaros to grow, they were also stomping all over the baby saguaros, killing them before they had a chance to grow. The park was able to take this evidence to court and cattle grazing was removed from the park in 1978.  And you know what? The saguaros are coming back in a major way, especially when you compare photos from the 1970s and 80s to now.  So this a great example of advocacy, research, and using the law to improve conditions.

The thing is…if you look around you (and look back) you can find evidence of human’s capacity to make change all around you.  Sometimes it’s bad change (everyone using Keurigs) but there’s also tons of good stuff out there, from fixing the ozone layer to protecting and nurturing endangered species (like the Giant Panda and the Grey Wolf).

There’s something about doomerism that is lowkey comforting and liberating, even though it’s also depressing.  It’s like it liberates you from the work of caring, of changing.  It’s the same reason we see people saying “there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism” and then placing a Shein haul order. Because giving up means you don’t owe  anyone anything, except yourself.  Which is…well, it’s really lonely.  And maybe in a world that is experiencing a loneliness epidemic we need less doomerism and more HOLY SHIT WE’RE GOING TO DO THIS TOGETHER. So while succumbing to doom feels “easier,” it’s actually harder in the long term. 

That’s why it’s important for all of us to do the best thing for ourselves by staving off doomerism. It doesn’t just help the rest of the world, it helps US. It brings purpose, joy, a reason to get out of bed every day. 

I was raised in an atheist household, so I don’t have a lot of experience with religious faith.  In fact, I don’t really have any spiritual beliefs. Some times that sucks and makes life harder (like when my partner died). I would have done anything to have some faith to comfort me then.

But the thing is–and I realized this as I coped with that grief–I do have faith.  I have a ton of it. And that faith is in myself, in the people around me, in the unmeasurably infinite potential of all of us, especially when we’re working together.  I have faith because while some days are worse than others, there will always be more sunshine and blue skies to see. There will always be reasons to laugh.

So how do we keep the faith and win the battle against doomerism?

• Get excited about the magic of the world around us.  Spiderwebs, bird nests, snowflakes, seeds sprouting into plants…you can’t see these things and not be filled with wonder.  Like wow, this world is fucking magical and worth loving and protecting.  I’m so glad to be here every day and that gratitude, that joy, it comes from how amazing all of these little things are. Letting myself witness those things motivates me and gives me comfort.
• Next: intentionally curate “your feed,” whether that’s on social media or where you get your news. Who you talk to on a regular basis. What you read and think about. 
  • Let yourself hear and receive good news. I promise that even in the midst of a crazy ass 2025, good things have happened too 
  • Follow accounts and consume media that is just fun, makes you laugh, or even just gets a little smile.  I promise that fun and joy keep us energized and active. They are just as important as the serious shit.
  • Avoid (and unfollow) accounts, news sources, etc that only share bad news without any actionable steps you can take in the face of it
  • Regulate the flow of news into your life. And I’m not talking about turning off the faucet, just taking in as much as you can handle and process.  One thing that was just breaking me back in the first Trump presidency and during the recent election season (and of course since the election) was a non-stop, rapid news cycle that was mostly conjecture and chaos.  Like taking something Trump said in a speech and turning it into 1000 news articles. This shit is exhausting and honesty, over time it kind of beats us down into complacency.  So maybe limit your news time.  Unfollow accounts that just share content nonstop that is really designed to just keep you upset.
  • Fact check outrageous things you see online. It’s free, it only takes a simple internet search, and as a concerned citizen and all around decent person, you want to know the facts! Best practices for detecting misinformation:
    • Beware of posts that are simply a screenshot of a post from another platform. Read the full caption to see if any sources are cited. In fact, be wary of any post that does not include a credible source.
    • Avoid posts that portray anything in very simple black/white, good/bad terms. Remember: truth is often full of grey areas and nuance. All situations are full of complication and contradictions.
    • Fact check what you are seeing: do an internet search. If you want to avoid Google’s use of AI, opt for Duck Duck Go. Search the claim being made by a post.
    • Look for unbiased news sources. My favorites are Associated Press, NPR, PBS, and BBC. You can learn more about where news sources land on the bias spectrum (liberal or conservative) using the @adfontesmedia media bias chart. 
    • Report posts that are misinformation. Unfollow those accounts.
• Next, let yourself relax, have fun, laugh, hang out, celebrate holidays…whatever does it for you! I saw a lot of posts last year that annoyed the fuck out of me, basically like “Americans are so horrible and selfish that they will celebrate Halloween while a genocide is happening.” And it’s like…listen, we need our strength to keep going.  And that strength is recharged by moments of joy and fun. Inside jokes.  Silly tv shows. Rolling around in the grass. Making funny cat videos.  Eating delicious food. Talking on the phone. We need those things to keep us strong.
• Educate yourself: you don’t have to go on a “climate optimism” field trip like I did, but you can! You can also read books, watch documentaries, visit museums, listen to experts.  Someone told me that it is cheugy to say that “knowledge is power,” so I’ll rephrase it “knowledge is fuel.” It keeps us going! 
• Make small changes within your own life, gradually.  What you buy/don’t buy, what you waste/don’t waste, taking more public transportation, growing your own food, mending and repairing your stuff…there are so many personal things you can do that make a larger impact when others are doing them, too.  And beyond that, these changes in your own life can make YOU feel better. That’s also super important.
• Get involved! This can be a multi prong approach: volunteer in your community.  Share information online. Have conversations with people IRL. Be that good influence within your own community, both IRL and virtual.  Don’t stay silent when it matters. 

Speaking of staying silent, I want to take a moment to talk about social media.

I am seeing a lot of posts out there about walking away from social media, particularly the Meta platforms.  And trust me, I’ve given a lot of thought to this.  On one hand, doing that would save me a lot of time and energy. Because OMG do I put so much time into social media. So from a selfish perspective, it sounds like a great idea.

But then I really start to think about it…and I have to say, if we all leave social media, then who is left to share the real facts? The real inspiration? The real hope? Aren’t we just allowing ourselves to be silenced? Sorry but bad people have been trying to shut me up my whole life.  I stayed silent for so long and it didn’t help anyone (except for the people trying to keep me quiet). I’ve also seen how social media can bring people together, build community, and change some minds.  It is a lifeline for those of us who have felt alone in our worries and thoughts. So I’m sticking around for now.  I can’t say it will be forever, but I’m trying my hardest to fight the good fight. I hope you will be there, too.