“Don’t give your money to assholes!”

Yeah, it’s a catchy phrase but it also meaningful to me in a major way.

Back in 2020, I was lost my job in the early months of the pandemic. One of the last things I was required to do before being laid off? Cancel every order that my employer had placed for new product, whether it was in production, on the plane flying across the ocean, or already on its way to the warehouse.

It felt really unethical on many levels. My employer often bragged about having $100 million in cash in the bank at any moment. Yet here we were, cancelling orders that this company could 100% afford. Small businesses went under. People lost their jobs. Garment workers didn’t get paid for work they had already done. The ethical implications were massive. All because this company was prioritizing preservation of profit over people.

“Surprise” profit?! 🤬🤬🤬

A week after I was officially let go with two weeks of severance and one week of health insurance, I was bombarded with articles trumpeting my former employer’s “surprise” profit for that quarter.

That profit was comprised entirely of lost wages: store employees who had been furloughed for months, garment workers who went unpaid for the work they had already done when orders were cancelled, and corporate workers like myself who had been furloughed and laid off.

So many people suffered so that company could have a higher stock price. My family’s struggles were small in comparison to the global impact of my employer’s decisions, but times were difficult nonetheless: we moved out of the city because we could no longer afford the rent, my daughter had to put off college for a few years, I stopped refilling my medication (and at one point I did some minor dental surgery on myself….don’t ask).

The more I thought about it, the more I saw that this company did not share my values.

I thought about the internal company culture of classism, fat phobia, and racism. I remembered the horrible ways I had seen the company treat employees at all levels. I was even bothered by how the company didn’t offer real (reusable) dishes in the cafeteria, only disposable takeout packaging because it was cheaper than dishes/dishwashers. I recognized that every cent I spent with that company was support for its way of doing business, essentially casting a vote in favor of profits over everything else.

I told my husband and daughter, “We will never give a dime to that company ever again. We don’t give money to assholes.”

And guess what? We haven’t. Even almost five years later…

Sometimes it’s just really important to hold a grudge.

But it’s not always that easy.

It’s easy for me to skip my former employer because they make low quality fast fashion with a high markup. I can find better things elsewhere.

“Don’t give your money to assholes” can be one of the easiest components of the slow fashion way of life to follow. If you don’t like what a business does or sells, you skip it, right?

It’s not always that simple. There are larger issues of access, price, and availability that can make it more difficult. Sometimes you will have to shop from a business that doesn’t share your values because it’s the only option. Or maybe the options are more complicated. Let’s break it down…

Sometimes finding an alternative requires minimal effort.

A recent example of this is Sticker Mule, a company that prints stickers for artists and brands.
I have ordered stickers from Sticker Mule in the past. But last year (thanks to Reddit) I learned that the owner of the company was a major Donald Trump supporter.

I knew that I would not want to order from Sticker Mule in the future because ultimately, every purchase I make with that company could potentially fund donations and support for Donald Trump.

Yeah, that company doesn’t get my money.

So I started looking for other options.

Fortunately there are many other companies out there offering similar services at similar prices (and maybe even better quality).

Sometimes it’s the only option.

I want to remind you that we can’t let perfection be the enemy of progress.

For example, I don’t love Walmart for about one million reasons. To me, Walmart is the original destroyer of small businesses. So I try to skip it as often as possible.

Maybe you’re on a road trip, your partner comes down with norovirus, and the only option for medicine (and a thermometer) is Walmart. This happened to me earlier this year!

Maybe Walmart is the most affordable grocery option where you live. Or you need window blinds and they have the only ones you can afford nearby.

These systems aren’t set up for us to easily live our values. In fact, the odds are stacked against us, as big companies (like Walmart) make it really difficult for thoughtful, ethical businesses to grow and thrive (or exist at all).

Whether SHEIN is the only brand that has clothes in your size that you can afford (and want to wear)…or Walmart is the only place to get groceries…be gentle with yourself and do what you need to do. I often worry that the pressure for “purity” that we see/feel on social media actually ends up frustrating, discouraging…and ultimately, disconnecting us from working for a better future.


BUT don’t over shop. Don’t buy things you really don’t need or wear. Reining in your spending has major impact, too, because companies like SHEIN and Walmart only thrive when we are all buying a ton of stuff we don’t really need.

Buying less is very powerful, too.